My month in The Fun House

I have rolled my eyes, and I am sorry.

Until this winter, I had never in my life experienced vertigo - other than the movie featuring Jimmy Stewart - and now I have. I now understand what 35 percent of Americans over 40 have or are experiencing. When someone tells me they have vertigo, I will never roll my eyes again. It's real. Vertigo, oversimplified, is a balance disorder. There are different flavors, but there it is.

Over New Year's Day, as the Georgia Bulldogs were defeating Oklahoma in the Rose Bowl, Vicki and I came down with the bronchial infection from hell. I'm completely sure the devil himself cooked it up and delivered it to us personally. For the month of January, Vicki and I hacked around, snorted and swallowed medicines, crawled out of bed later in the morning and collapsed in it earlier at night. But, we kept chugging along at work because there's no real sympathy for a bronchial infection whenever everyone else has one, too.

In late January, I was sitting at my desk, writing a handful of the 3,000 words or so I write every single day, and the room started spinning. Spinning like the Scrambler at the State Fair. If it had not taken my by surprise, it might have even been fun.  I took off my glasses, put my head on my desk, and waited for the world to slow down. Within a minute, I was off the Scrambler, felt light-headed, but returned to what I was doing.

A few hours later, Vicki and I were watching television. All of a sudden, I was back on the Scrambler only this time the operator had punched the gas. I looked over at Vicki and said, "Honey, if there's anything you want to tell Jesus, let me know because I'm about to see him." The episode passed, and she took me to the Emergency Room. I never go to the Emergency Room. I had another episode in the waiting room, but not before I could text the boys about the unique international flavor of the ER waiting room.

Tests were negative for stroke, heart attack, insanity, blood alcohol, but it was confirmed that I had a bronchial infection though that had been established for a month already. They sent me home - told me to stop some of the medicines.

I had no other episodes, but I did have this lingering unsteadiness on my feet. For the next month, I was okay sitting and okay sleeping, but when I stood and walked it was like having three beers too many. Things were funny, wavy, imbalanced. It was less Scrambler and more Fun House. I didn't fall, but I had lots to hold onto. Out in space, like in a big parking lot, I had to have a cane or a buggy or Vicki . . . or a strange woman who came to my rescue and guided me into Walmart. It was awkward but she smelled good. She said it was Chanel Coco Mademoiselle. I bought some for Vicki.

The bronchial infection disappeared. I was sent to physical therapy for two weeks, and I was skeptical. But, get this - there are so many cases of imbalance among adults of all ages that there are exercises to help restore balance. They worked. After two weeks, I was cleared to drive again. I may have kissed the steering wheel. 

I'm better now. 

At one point, while at home watching an afternoon episode of Bonanza, I prayed, "Lord, there's nothing I can do about all this. None of this is a surprise to you. While I'm slowed down, what do you want to teach me?"

"Scott, I want you to be more compassionate when someone says they have vertigo," came the Lord's response.

I will never, ever roll my eyes again, and I am sorry.

Comments

  1. UnknownMay 4, 2018 at 4:26 PM

    Interesting info on vertigo ~ https://www.thealternativedaily.com/how-to-balance-crystals-in-your-ear/

    ReplyDelete

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